Welcome to this blog...I love reading and writing, so obviously this page is going to be full of that. You can expect...pieces of (original!) poetry, bits of whatever storyline is going on in my head right now and things like book reviews, book updates etc., as well as things from my daily life that interest and amuse me. So, I hope you enjoy whatever you read.
P.S.: Please do ignore the dates...I've done it so my posts can go in a crazy order of my own.
The top ten phrases you will hear in and around junior college
1) "Seriously" : This word is a multi-purpose one. Best when accompanied by a tone of outrage and bugging out of the eyes. Especially useful if it's break-time and you are hungry, but the girl next to you won't shut up and expects a reply to everything she says. Try stretching out the syllables for maximum histrionics.
2) "Are they letting us go early??" : The most powerful phrase you will ever hear within the four walls. Awakens hope and nameless joy in the hearts of the 40-odd inmates. Differences are forgotten and enmities banished. Accompanied by a mad rush for the phones (to call home!)
3) "I'm not well" : You say this to the Vice Principal or the receptionist when you can't bear the torture anymore and want to go home. Best accompanied by coughing or sneezing for better effect. (You could also clutch your head in "agony") Expect dirty looks and evasions in the form of "I'll send for a tablet.", "Why don't you lie down in my office?" and "I'll give you some chocolate if yu're feeling faint." Be firm. Don't take no for an answer.
4) "What's that you're reading??" : Anxiety and paranoia show their ugly faces as one student demands of another information about anything that looks new. Material of any possible value is quickly gathered and inevitable passed around the class. So make sure to hide anything flashy or important. There are no secrets in this class!
5) "I'll take a xerox" : More paranoia. Here's how it's done: Step 1: Spot any new worksheets, textbooks or material Step 2: Grab them from the unsuspecting owner Step 3: Quickly send it for xeroxing just in case it might be something that slipped under your massive and penetrating radar
6) "Wonder how she does it" : An automatic response to scores like "Botany- 40/40 Zoology- 40/40 Physics- 39/40 Chemistry 40/40" Accompanied by a huge dent to the self-esteem. Shock and awe. Soon shifts to phrases like "It's luck.", "If I bothered to stay up fr as many hours as she does, I would have scored better." Go ahead and delude yourself...lol
7) "It's a 'bandh' today." : Broadcasted across the class in a matter-of-fact tone. Repeated over and over again in the presence of junior and senior lecturers in the hope that they might actually take the hint. If you're unlucky, it is usually accompanied by a pointed closing of the class doors and screams of joy from the neighbouring classes (because they're getting off and you are NOT)
8) "Sir, what's the time?" : Mainly directed at Junior lecturers. Synonymous with "You fathead! It's eight o-clock already. Are you blind or has your stupid watch stopped working? LET US GO!" Repeated by different people in short intervals of time for maximum irritating effect.
9) "Where are you going?" : This is a universal phrase you WILL hear whether you get up from your seat or (gosh!) step out of the class or even (Gasp!!) go down to the basement for some fresh air. The higher the post of the speaker, the snottier the tone. Accompanied by looks of the deepest suspicion.
10) "I'm disappointed with your score of 158/160..I expected more." : Accompanied by a general drop of the lower jaw and loss of consciousness for a few moments. The correct reply is usually a bright "I'll do better next time, sir." but don't try it if you're not a complete saint. A background whisper of "OMG, is he mad?" and dangerous thoughts of bludgeoning the speaker are to be expected.
2) "Are they letting us go early??" : The most powerful phrase you will ever hear within the four walls. Awakens hope and nameless joy in the hearts of the 40-odd inmates. Differences are forgotten and enmities banished. Accompanied by a mad rush for the phones (to call home!)
3) "I'm not well" : You say this to the Vice Principal or the receptionist when you can't bear the torture anymore and want to go home. Best accompanied by coughing or sneezing for better effect. (You could also clutch your head in "agony") Expect dirty looks and evasions in the form of "I'll send for a tablet.", "Why don't you lie down in my office?" and "I'll give you some chocolate if yu're feeling faint." Be firm. Don't take no for an answer.
4) "What's that you're reading??" : Anxiety and paranoia show their ugly faces as one student demands of another information about anything that looks new. Material of any possible value is quickly gathered and inevitable passed around the class. So make sure to hide anything flashy or important. There are no secrets in this class!
5) "I'll take a xerox" : More paranoia. Here's how it's done: Step 1: Spot any new worksheets, textbooks or material Step 2: Grab them from the unsuspecting owner Step 3: Quickly send it for xeroxing just in case it might be something that slipped under your massive and penetrating radar
6) "Wonder how she does it" : An automatic response to scores like "Botany- 40/40 Zoology- 40/40 Physics- 39/40 Chemistry 40/40" Accompanied by a huge dent to the self-esteem. Shock and awe. Soon shifts to phrases like "It's luck.", "If I bothered to stay up fr as many hours as she does, I would have scored better." Go ahead and delude yourself...lol
7) "It's a 'bandh' today." : Broadcasted across the class in a matter-of-fact tone. Repeated over and over again in the presence of junior and senior lecturers in the hope that they might actually take the hint. If you're unlucky, it is usually accompanied by a pointed closing of the class doors and screams of joy from the neighbouring classes (because they're getting off and you are NOT)
8) "Sir, what's the time?" : Mainly directed at Junior lecturers. Synonymous with "You fathead! It's eight o-clock already. Are you blind or has your stupid watch stopped working? LET US GO!" Repeated by different people in short intervals of time for maximum irritating effect.
9) "Where are you going?" : This is a universal phrase you WILL hear whether you get up from your seat or (gosh!) step out of the class or even (Gasp!!) go down to the basement for some fresh air. The higher the post of the speaker, the snottier the tone. Accompanied by looks of the deepest suspicion.
10) "I'm disappointed with your score of 158/160..I expected more." : Accompanied by a general drop of the lower jaw and loss of consciousness for a few moments. The correct reply is usually a bright "I'll do better next time, sir." but don't try it if you're not a complete saint. A background whisper of "OMG, is he mad?" and dangerous thoughts of bludgeoning the speaker are to be expected.
Those ten inevitable things...
1) The permanent suspicion that greets your statement of feeling unwell. The irony? They send absolute fakers home in a jiff while they make you wait even though you feel your life force ebbing away
2)The VP's tendency to look you up from bottom to top (and not the reverse) Why? Because capris are not allowed!
3) The way people say "I didn't study at ALL. God knows what's gonna happen to the test!" Yeah, right. Like we didn't know you stayed up the whole night feverishly trying to get everything done. Who are you trying to fool??
4) Call from the college on a holiday: "There's going to be a special class only for a select few. VERY important learning secrets...EVERYONE's going to be there...if you don't come, you'll be the only one left out." You hurry to the college and guess what...not a soul in sight. Don't fall for THAT again.
5) The way the staff assume that we will continue studying if we are not informed of our break-times. Oy,people, what are you getting paid for??!
6) The habit of laughing at really dumb jokes but remaining straight-faced at the really rib-cracking ones. What is with that? Let me tell you...it is NOT a good thing to let out an enormous snort of laughter in a completely silent room.
7) The whole "sucking-up-to-brainy-people" that you will find everyehwere you go. Doesn't make it any less sickening though. Some of the social climbers around really make you want to throw up your lunch.
8) There is a special class of people. It consists of specimens who, at first, ask you a question. You are kind enough to reply. They demand to know the reason behind your answer. Okay, you have the infinite patience required to answer that as well. They, however, continue to harass you with more inane questions until you either change your viewpoint or make a flimsy excuse and walk out of the room. Conclusion: If I really needed that, I would much rather go put my head in a shredder. There are better ways to do this.
9) This masochistic tendency that people have that makes them favour other people who go around being really sarcastic about them. What is with that?
10) The delirious screams of joy that can be heard from the neighbouring classes in the event of a "bandh". It really hurts, you know, when you know you have to stay put for the whole day AND you know you have Double Physics!!
2)The VP's tendency to look you up from bottom to top (and not the reverse) Why? Because capris are not allowed!
3) The way people say "I didn't study at ALL. God knows what's gonna happen to the test!" Yeah, right. Like we didn't know you stayed up the whole night feverishly trying to get everything done. Who are you trying to fool??
4) Call from the college on a holiday: "There's going to be a special class only for a select few. VERY important learning secrets...EVERYONE's going to be there...if you don't come, you'll be the only one left out." You hurry to the college and guess what...not a soul in sight. Don't fall for THAT again.
5) The way the staff assume that we will continue studying if we are not informed of our break-times. Oy,people, what are you getting paid for??!
6) The habit of laughing at really dumb jokes but remaining straight-faced at the really rib-cracking ones. What is with that? Let me tell you...it is NOT a good thing to let out an enormous snort of laughter in a completely silent room.
7) The whole "sucking-up-to-brainy-people" that you will find everyehwere you go. Doesn't make it any less sickening though. Some of the social climbers around really make you want to throw up your lunch.
8) There is a special class of people. It consists of specimens who, at first, ask you a question. You are kind enough to reply. They demand to know the reason behind your answer. Okay, you have the infinite patience required to answer that as well. They, however, continue to harass you with more inane questions until you either change your viewpoint or make a flimsy excuse and walk out of the room. Conclusion: If I really needed that, I would much rather go put my head in a shredder. There are better ways to do this.
9) This masochistic tendency that people have that makes them favour other people who go around being really sarcastic about them. What is with that?
10) The delirious screams of joy that can be heard from the neighbouring classes in the event of a "bandh". It really hurts, you know, when you know you have to stay put for the whole day AND you know you have Double Physics!!
Here goes...
How about a warm-up poem? This is a little something I composed recently...it's..er...a bit long. What can I say, I had a lot of time on my hands! Here it is (the first few stanzas):
WHEN I MET A MONSTER
-A poem by Anushya S.B. (Yup, that's my actual name)
“Anyone who ventures in
Will be had for his dinner.
He doesn’t discriminate
Between the virtuous and the sinner.
Armed with fearsome claws
And dangerous teeth is he.
Clever, cunning and as
Wily as he can be.”
So my people proclaimed
With fear on their features.
“Tell me…” said I, curiously.
“Who is this creature?”
“Oh, he lurks in the bog
Under the moon at night.
Nothing is spared, no one
Ever escapes his sight.”
Said one. Said another:
“I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
People being hunted in daylight
Is no longer a surprise.”
Curiosity whetted, I listened
To their tales of trepidation
For wasn’t I a hunter
Of great fame and reputation?
“I doubt, though, that your
Tales are perfectly true.
That such a man-eating monster
Existed, I never knew!”
I said disbelievingly.
Their voices dropped suddenly.
“The news has not travelled
Far, O Hunter Ali!
Who knows what powers the
Monster has to its name
And on being disturbed,
How many lives it may claim?”
To be continued...
WHEN I MET A MONSTER
-A poem by Anushya S.B. (Yup, that's my actual name)
“Anyone who ventures in
Will be had for his dinner.
He doesn’t discriminate
Between the virtuous and the sinner.
Armed with fearsome claws
And dangerous teeth is he.
Clever, cunning and as
Wily as he can be.”
So my people proclaimed
With fear on their features.
“Tell me…” said I, curiously.
“Who is this creature?”
“Oh, he lurks in the bog
Under the moon at night.
Nothing is spared, no one
Ever escapes his sight.”
Said one. Said another:
“I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
People being hunted in daylight
Is no longer a surprise.”
Curiosity whetted, I listened
To their tales of trepidation
For wasn’t I a hunter
Of great fame and reputation?
“I doubt, though, that your
Tales are perfectly true.
That such a man-eating monster
Existed, I never knew!”
I said disbelievingly.
Their voices dropped suddenly.
“The news has not travelled
Far, O Hunter Ali!
Who knows what powers the
Monster has to its name
And on being disturbed,
How many lives it may claim?”
To be continued...
Poem continued...
I like rhythmic poems, so the poetry I write always rhymes. I also like a “twist in the tale”, so keep reading...
The next few stanzas:
"“Now you must answer the
Question you evade…”
“His name? He answers only to
“The Draconis”, I’m afraid.”
“I’m starting out to see
If I can find this fearsome beast.”
“Be careful, for if he finds you,
He’ll have you for a feast.”
I battled the merciless currents.
I faced the hanging vines.
I fought the wild animals
And at last, found some signs
That the monster existed.
In a vast clearing in the bog,
Shadowy, with the river running beside it,
Was a house made of logs!
Whatever was a house here for?
I wondered. It was clear
That no monster of any kind
Lived and hunted here.
Expecting to meet a friendly hunter,
I stepped up to the knocker
But what happened next
Surely was a shocker!
A scaly green creature
With the most purple eyes ever
With acclaimed claws and teeth present,
It whistled, saying: “Well, I never!”
It stood there, struck dumb,
While its eyes strayed to my gun.
Assuming a strange expression,
It cried “Now, this is some fun!”
“Not many visitors here, you know.
But you are a hunter surely
Here to clear up those tales
And perhaps even to lure me
Into a trap and kill me!”
Said the Draconis, in lamentation.
“Maybe I will, maybe not.” I said.
“First, I want a proper explanation.”
To be continued...
The next few stanzas:
"“Now you must answer the
Question you evade…”
“His name? He answers only to
“The Draconis”, I’m afraid.”
“I’m starting out to see
If I can find this fearsome beast.”
“Be careful, for if he finds you,
He’ll have you for a feast.”
I battled the merciless currents.
I faced the hanging vines.
I fought the wild animals
And at last, found some signs
That the monster existed.
In a vast clearing in the bog,
Shadowy, with the river running beside it,
Was a house made of logs!
Whatever was a house here for?
I wondered. It was clear
That no monster of any kind
Lived and hunted here.
Expecting to meet a friendly hunter,
I stepped up to the knocker
But what happened next
Surely was a shocker!
A scaly green creature
With the most purple eyes ever
With acclaimed claws and teeth present,
It whistled, saying: “Well, I never!”
It stood there, struck dumb,
While its eyes strayed to my gun.
Assuming a strange expression,
It cried “Now, this is some fun!”
“Not many visitors here, you know.
But you are a hunter surely
Here to clear up those tales
And perhaps even to lure me
Into a trap and kill me!”
Said the Draconis, in lamentation.
“Maybe I will, maybe not.” I said.
“First, I want a proper explanation.”
To be continued...
Didn't I tell you it was long...
Please have patience and keep reading:
"“I don’t hunt people, oh no!
I only try to help, if I may.
I find poor souls lost in the forest
And guide them on the proper way.”
I spotted boots and scarves lying around
And turned with a questioning glance.
“What are those, then?”
“Me, hunt people? Not a chance.”
“Why, those are just gifts from those
Poor lost travelers, in gratitude.
Not remains, dear sir, I assure you. Just
Tokens for showing them the right latitude.”
“Oh, I see.” I said, disconcerted.
“Then the villagers must be mistaken!”
“Yes, they surely are. I shouldn’t blame
The poor things, but I’m shaken!”
“Such a peaceful creature am I.
Well, for this at least, I’m glad
Due to their stories, after long,
A visitor is to be had!”
I felt sorry for the poor creature
As the Draconis clapped in glee.
“Now, Mr. Hunter, won’t you
Sit down and have some tea?”
It showed me into its house
And bade me sit on a stool.
“I’m sorry to say it but I
Think the villagers are fools!”
“They thought I hunted people
As some were disappearing.
That’s because the road to the
Town is through this clearing.”
And off the Draconis went
To do the evening cooking.
And off I went. Through the
Monster’s chambers I went looking.
Not long, before I heard,
Distantly, an unhappy whine.
On hearing it, a cold chill
Ran down my spine.
I ran out, far into the clearing
When I saw a cage of fair size.
I turned, to find the Draconis
Staring intently into my eyes."
To be continued in the next post...
"“I don’t hunt people, oh no!
I only try to help, if I may.
I find poor souls lost in the forest
And guide them on the proper way.”
I spotted boots and scarves lying around
And turned with a questioning glance.
“What are those, then?”
“Me, hunt people? Not a chance.”
“Why, those are just gifts from those
Poor lost travelers, in gratitude.
Not remains, dear sir, I assure you. Just
Tokens for showing them the right latitude.”
“Oh, I see.” I said, disconcerted.
“Then the villagers must be mistaken!”
“Yes, they surely are. I shouldn’t blame
The poor things, but I’m shaken!”
“Such a peaceful creature am I.
Well, for this at least, I’m glad
Due to their stories, after long,
A visitor is to be had!”
I felt sorry for the poor creature
As the Draconis clapped in glee.
“Now, Mr. Hunter, won’t you
Sit down and have some tea?”
It showed me into its house
And bade me sit on a stool.
“I’m sorry to say it but I
Think the villagers are fools!”
“They thought I hunted people
As some were disappearing.
That’s because the road to the
Town is through this clearing.”
And off the Draconis went
To do the evening cooking.
And off I went. Through the
Monster’s chambers I went looking.
Not long, before I heard,
Distantly, an unhappy whine.
On hearing it, a cold chill
Ran down my spine.
I ran out, far into the clearing
When I saw a cage of fair size.
I turned, to find the Draconis
Staring intently into my eyes."
To be continued in the next post...
Don't miss the end...
Here's the ending of the poem...watch out for the twist..!
"“Poor thing, it’s stuck! So sad!
Maybe the breeze blew and the door shut.
Dogs should never come here.
It didn’t know, poor mutt!”
The Draconis said, pityingly.
Opening the door, it beckoned to me.
“You must coax it out, Mr. Hunter.
Dogs don’t like monsters, you see.”
I agreed, for the sake of the dog,
To go inside and make a dash.
But once I was in, the Draconis
Shut the door in a flash.
It laughed wickedly, and for long.
“You fell for a tale so tall.
Mr. Hunter, you should have listened
To your people after all!”
It stood there, grinning slyly
And its teeth gleaming in the light.
“I have humans for a tasty treat
Once in a while, that’s right!”
“It’ll be your turn next.
Your time will come soon.
But not yet, I’m saving you
Up until the full moon.”
It said and left, rubbing
Its scaly green hands in glee.
People reading this, somehow,
Please come and rescue me!"
"“Poor thing, it’s stuck! So sad!
Maybe the breeze blew and the door shut.
Dogs should never come here.
It didn’t know, poor mutt!”
The Draconis said, pityingly.
Opening the door, it beckoned to me.
“You must coax it out, Mr. Hunter.
Dogs don’t like monsters, you see.”
I agreed, for the sake of the dog,
To go inside and make a dash.
But once I was in, the Draconis
Shut the door in a flash.
It laughed wickedly, and for long.
“You fell for a tale so tall.
Mr. Hunter, you should have listened
To your people after all!”
It stood there, grinning slyly
And its teeth gleaming in the light.
“I have humans for a tasty treat
Once in a while, that’s right!”
“It’ll be your turn next.
Your time will come soon.
But not yet, I’m saving you
Up until the full moon.”
It said and left, rubbing
Its scaly green hands in glee.
People reading this, somehow,
Please come and rescue me!"
Well...
Did you like it? Sorry it's a bit childish...but you see, fun and rhythmic poetry is always better than somber, dreary poems, don't you think? I feel writing light-hearted poetry is better than composing poems about broken hearts and betrayal and things like that...
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