The top ten phrases you will hear in and around junior college

1) "Seriously" : This word is a multi-purpose one. Best when accompanied by a tone of outrage and bugging out of the eyes. Especially useful if it's break-time and you are hungry, but the girl next to you won't shut up and expects a reply to everything she says. Try stretching out the syllables for maximum histrionics.
2) "Are they letting us go early??" : The most powerful phrase you will ever hear within the four walls. Awakens hope and nameless joy in the hearts of the 40-odd inmates. Differences are forgotten and enmities banished. Accompanied by a mad rush for the phones (to call home!)
3) "I'm not well" : You say this to the Vice Principal or the receptionist when you can't bear the torture anymore and want to go home. Best accompanied by coughing or sneezing for better effect. (You could also clutch your head in "agony") Expect dirty looks and evasions in the form of "I'll send for a tablet.", "Why don't you lie down in my office?" and "I'll give you some chocolate if yu're feeling faint." Be firm. Don't take no for an answer.
4) "What's that you're reading??" : Anxiety and paranoia show their ugly faces as one student demands of another information about anything that looks new. Material of any possible value is quickly gathered and inevitable passed around the class. So make sure to hide anything flashy or important. There are no secrets in this class!
5) "I'll take a xerox" : More paranoia. Here's how it's done: Step 1: Spot any new worksheets, textbooks or material Step 2: Grab them from the unsuspecting owner Step 3: Quickly send it for xeroxing just in case it might be something that slipped under your massive and penetrating radar
6) "Wonder how she does it" : An automatic response to scores like "Botany- 40/40 Zoology- 40/40 Physics- 39/40 Chemistry 40/40" Accompanied by a huge dent to the self-esteem. Shock and awe. Soon shifts to phrases like "It's luck.", "If I bothered to stay up fr as many hours as she does, I would have scored better." Go ahead and delude
7) "It's a 'bandh' today." : Broadcasted across the class in a matter-of-fact tone. Repeated over and over again in the presence of junior and senior lecturers in the hope that they might actually take the hint. If you're unlucky, it is usually accompanied by a pointed closing of the class doors and screams of joy from the neighbouring classes (because they're getting off and you are NOT)
8) "Sir, what's the time?" : Mainly directed at Junior lecturers. Synonymous with "You fathead! It's eight o-clock already. Are you blind or has your stupid watch stopped working? LET US GO!" Repeated by different people in short intervals of time for maximum irritating effect.
9) "Where are you going?" : This is a universal phrase you WILL hear whether you get up from your seat or (gosh!) step out of the class or even (Gasp!!) go down to the basement for some fresh air. The higher the post of the speaker, the snottier the tone. Accompanied by looks of the deepest suspicion.
10) "I'm disappointed with your score of 158/160..I expected more." : Accompanied by a general drop of the lower jaw and loss of consciousness for a few moments. The correct reply is usually a bright "I'll do better next time, sir." but don't try it if you're not a complete saint. A background whisper of "OMG, is he mad?" and dangerous thoughts of bludgeoning the speaker are to be expected.

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